Blooie Phooie

I was going to write about this in the last post, but I think it deserves a posting all of its own. Admittedly last week wasn't all that bad. On Wednesday night, I drag Dani out to Blooies for beer and chow--after all that was going on, I figured I needed some quality weeknight company. So we find ourselves back at our one-time favourite joint, and we're greeted by this waitress we've never seen before. Denise (she tells us her name after we ask for it a little later) turns out to be the strangest or rather, quirkiest, ordering experience I've ever had. I'm not saying she's not ISO9000 but if there ever is a service awards ceremony, Denise deserves a whole new category to herself. Her attention-grabbing assets notwithstanding, her mind works in a wondrously curious logic. Here's a sample of the conversation:

Me: I'll have the chicken gumbo please.
D: We don't have that anymore.
Me: Oh okay, that sucks. Lemme see... what should I get then....
(I flip through the menu for a minute, but can't make up my mind.)

D: Why don't you get the nachos?
Dani: We've had the nachos before.
D: What about the wings?
Dani: We've had the wings before too.
D: The wings are really good. You gotta have the wings.
Us: uhhh....
D: You didn't like them? The wings are great.
Dani: Well..they were okay.
D: Get a burger.
(I flip to the burger page)

Me: Okay okay, I'll have the cheese burger.
D: (looks doubtfully at me) You sure?
Me: What's wrong with the cheese burger?
D: I wouldn't get that. Get the mushroom, bacon and cheese burger.
Me: I can't. It's too fattening. I need something light.
D: Get a salad.
Me: I hate salads.
D: You're right. Salads are no good. Get a sandwich.
Me: (turning to sandwich page) Alright. enough fuss. I'll take the dory sandwich.
D: I don't know about that.... Get the mushroom, bacon and cheese burger.
Me: It's too fattening! I'll take the BLT.
D: Too boring. Get the mushroom, bacon and cheese burger.
Me: Fine Fine! I'll take the mushroom, bacon and cheese burger. With the Blooies special fries.
D: Which ones are those?
(I look at the menu. They only have one type of fries: the Blooies special fries.)
Me: The ones with the special spice?
D: Oh...those... right. (walks two steps away then turns back) Actually, get the Cajun Chicken Burger. It's better.
(Dani and I are wonderfully amused.)
Me: Okay okay. Just get me whatever.

Halfway through our meal, we notice Denise has gotten herself a ginormous plate of wings. I guess the wings REALLY are that good. You have been forewarned, get your ass to Blooies now!

Afterthought
Oh I forgot to mention: later in the evening, she gets off work and joins Dani and me at our table. We are chatting about Eye for a Guy 2's debut episode that same night and Denise promptly informs us that Rachel "FHM Bikini Model" Lee is her cousin (explains soooo much...) and that she shares the same initials as Denise Keller. Don't even ask.